50 Reasons Guys are Better than Girls
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50 Reasons why being a guy is the best
Your last name stays put.
You can kill your own food.
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
Monday Night Football.
None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
You dont have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
If your 34 and single, nobody even notices.
You can write your name in the snow.
Everything on your face gets to stay it's original color.
You dont have to shave below your neck.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
Bachlor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
The garage is all yours.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
All your orgasms are real.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters dont rob you blind.
Old friends dont give a crap if you've lost or gained weight.
You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
Flowers fix everything.
You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
You dont give a rats ass if anyone notices your new haircut.
You dont care if someone's talking about you behind your back.
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You can sit with your knees apart no matter what your wearing.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
Not liking a person doesnt preclude having great sex with them.
You NEVER have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood.
If you dont call your buddy when you say you will, he wont tell your other friend you've changed.
Same work, more pay.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
People never glance at your chest when your talking to them.
You dont have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
You can rationalize any behavior with the phrase "F*@k it".
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earths population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
The Worst Things About Being a Guy
You have to take out the garbage.
The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
No sofas in your restrooms.
External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, your not allowed to cry.
James Bond movies only come out every two years.
Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
You have to wear ties.
You cant flirt your way out of a jam.
"Women and children first".